A Letter to My 28 Year Old Self…

9 Jul

From 32 Year Old Me:

You’re about to leave Australia.

Your bag is (over)packed, farewells completed, the disparate advice of everyone you know is ringing in your ears.

You’re scared. You say you’re leaving for six months, but there’s a part of you that knows it’s for longer. This is more than a departure from Melbourne. This is leaving behind the way things were, the way you were – and leaping into the unknown.
It’s time. Take my hand.

Everything’s going to be OK.

Dream Big Start Now

At 32, you’re going to feel more a part of your own life than you ever have. For the first time, your decisions feel free of the weight of other people’s expectations. You see how you’re the creative force behind your life, that you’re responsible for how it all goes. You’ll still have the fear of missing out, but you won’t let it stop you. You have your hand on the tiller and a boat strong enough to weather the high seas.

You’re going to feel more comfortable in your body than you ever have. That crushing awkwardness you’ve had about your height, your face, your size since you were 13 is going to be a big blessing in your life.

Feeling ugly has helped you develop into a well-read, smart, funny, savvy woman. Somewhere in the next couple of years, you’re going to grow into your face, become at ease with your smile and wake up one morning, look in the mirror and be shocked at the attractive woman looking back at you. Enjoy it. You’ve spent enough time picking her apart.

Want to be someone else Kurt Cobain

You think you’re suffering from aches and pains now? That your knees and shoulders are shot? Guess what? In 3 days time, you’re going to slip on a wet footpath in Bangkok and crack your spine. Your tailbone will be dislocated for a long time. It’s going to hurt, a lot. Sitting, let alone yoga, is going to be difficult. It’s going to feel unfair and too much to handle, but it will distract you from the crack in your heart. Then it will force you to meditate and you will feel peaceful for the first time in your life. Yoga will save you. Yoga will bring you to people who can heal you: your body, your mind and your heart. Help you let go of the past. It will teach you tools you can share. Cracking your back will help a lot of people.

Yoga will change your life

You’ll move all over the world for love and it will end in heartbreak and a huge loss of faith in your judgement and humans in general.

Do it anyway.

Pop Love Bubble

You would always have wondered and you will be proud of yourself later. It helps you see what you’re prepared to do, and what you’re not. You lose your fear of looking stupid, going through those disappointments. It will help you realise what you’re worth – even though you don’t see that yet. Right now, you’re letting other people dictate that to you. But there will come a time when you name your price.

Your Value Doesnt Decrease

You know how you’re scared to live alone? It takes a little while to move through this one. But the time will come when you relish yourself as much as people around you and you suddenly realise the quality of your own company. If only you had taken the time to see it earlier. It propels your friendships to new and amazing levels, because when you want to be there, you’re really there.

Love heart hands

You’re going to really care what people think when you stop drinking. You’ll come back to Melbourne and get totally wasted with old friends to keep them happy and comfortable. And you’ll regret it. You’ll realise that friends who need you to drink with them are not real friends at all. You’ll see that people wanted to hang around you because you had a cool job, not because they were interested in who you are. Don’t hang out with them anymore. It’s OK. A bunch of awesome people are waiting to fill that space.

Dont have to do what everyone else is

You’re going to have compassion for your parents, and understand how hard it was to raise you. Mum had two kids by your age. You’re going to see what a blunder life is. How unknown the prospects. How agonising the decisions, the hurts, the collisions. This life thing, eh? Who knew?

They really did the best they could. And they love you. Fiercely. Those things you think they do that keep you from being close? That’s all you, baby. You can change it. Start slowly. They’re waiting for you to get it.

And you will. That, and a hundred other things. You’ll learn that fear doesn’t need to stop you from doing anything. That losing face is preferable to winning a lie. That everyone is muddling along, just like you are, so be careful and particular about seeking advice.

Scary Regret

You’ll learn that you really love simple things and that you feel best breathing clean air deeply; feeling sunshine on your face; watching the way light filters through green leaves. Those quiet moments you’ve been avoiding? That you “don’t have time for”? They are the most magical moments you will experience. They will unlock your heart and help you feel profoundly connected in a way you never knew was possible. Don’t worry that your face is leaking, it just means your heart is open.

More than anything? Strap in for the ride. By the time you’re 32, you will have visited 40 countries and lived in dozens of cities, just like you dreamed of doing as a kid. As hard as it was to leave your old life behind, don’t mourn it. The next 4 years of your life will see you having the greatest adventures of your life.

Just start.

It’s worth it.

Birthday Card Yogi

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11 Responses to “A Letter to My 28 Year Old Self…”

  1. dprkwatcher July 9, 2013 at 9:26 am #

    Your “decisions feel free of the weight of other people’s expectations.” Sounds like bliss. Well done.

  2. Sarah July 9, 2013 at 9:34 am #

    I’m crying, that was beautiful x

  3. chris hamer July 9, 2013 at 1:36 pm #

    bless you x

  4. Jennifer Elise July 9, 2013 at 2:15 pm #

    This is awesome. I love reading this at (almost) 28. I love writing letters to my younger self! I’ve shared a few. Thanks for sharing yours! it was a pleasure to read!!

  5. Alicia July 9, 2013 at 6:00 pm #

    You are fabulous, Megan! Love this.

  6. Grace Hollier July 9, 2013 at 8:32 pm #

    What an amazing and beautiful woman you are! Loved your blog.

  7. ochobrazos July 11, 2013 at 10:18 am #

    i really appreciated this post. Thank you so much. Your 28 year old self sounds a lot like my 28 year old self. xoxo

  8. Dooky Lewis July 14, 2013 at 9:02 pm #

    Thanks for sharing Megan. Motivation for my 29-year-old self at a difficult time. xo

  9. rory July 20, 2013 at 6:06 am #

    Fantastic blog post. It’s valuable information.

  10. Jenni Jo August 29, 2013 at 9:58 am #

    You are wide open! Gives me chills….Wasn’t it about 4 years ago that we met? Big love to you!

    • misscorellian August 29, 2013 at 12:52 pm #

      Yes! I came to Samui to heal my back and work out what the hell I was going to do with my life! Early days, indeed 😉

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